One might imagine living in a new distant and strange land with very romantic visions of streets filled with vendors selling magic carpets and lamps housing wish-giving genies. Perhaps having a view of the ancient pyramids to wake up to inspiring adventure, tastes of new and exotic herbs and spices not yet discovered or common in western lands. Essential oils so exotic that they are kept secret. You might think that after hearing everything you have about Arab hospitality we are invited to people’s homes almost daily to share stories of wars past, populous successes in all things scholarly, religion, and how we can all live together through mutual understanding. You might envision swarms of children on the crowded dimly lit streets with weathered clothes some without shoes and slightly dirty little faces smiling from ear to ear with hope in their eyes hurrying together to catch a glimpse and possibly rub the tummy of the fat American for luck. Well, you would most certainly be wrong! Egypt is an exciting set of circumstances. We have been here under a year at the time of this writing and deep inside me, there is a voice screaming (okay well that happened… now get out) Let's start with the pros. You can not beat this food. Mostly Lebanese the combination of spices is unique and worth mastering. For the technical side of things, you’ll find heavily pickled and only slightly pickled items, braising here is not a thing, not to say they don't it's just not tops but hot open fire grilling is. The use of vegetables here is new and exciting to me. I find myself not craving meat as I did in Vietnam or back in New York. I have yet to have a bad meal and that helps. The food here is inexpensive and you could easily feed 2 adults with less than 10 bucks a day depending on where you live. Expat areas and compounds are about the only places in Cairo where you will find trees and it appears that that luxury comes at a cost to your meals. Downtown Cairo is pretty robust and lively… I have only been able to handle it at night when the darkness seems to hide some of the ugliness of the heavily polluted streets much as the effect snow has on New York. There the food is cheap cheap cheap. By comparison, a falafel is 17egp compared to one in my neighborhood at three times that price. I get it Egypt is a very poor third-world country and my ever-wondering mind always seems to do the margins when we go out. The country is a veritable hot spot of culture with one landmark destination almost everywhere and better than the last. Egyptians strive on this with many gallery openings and exhibits frequently popping up on news feeds and Instagram. There are apparent destinations that will leave you breathless. Note: on our first trip to the pyramids I picked up a few tips on expat.com and the gang there was very helpful. You will be approached and harassed to no end but a few tricks can help stop you from having an unpleasant time. Basically, the guy approaches and asks “where are you from?’ From there if you took the bait you’re fucked. I to was approached and when asked simply said nothing and kept walking as many had instructed me to do, however, it was on approach number two that I said “ look I’m not going to give you money because I left it in our room knowing this was going to happen… so you can continue to follow me as long as you like, but I will ignore you from now on and all you will have done is waste your time” they speak better English than some of you reading this so don’t by the “what” Game. I know it sounds rude but I did not get here just to have my time interrupted by the “But I can show you this and that camel ride dude”. So just do it and he will walk away and signal the rest of them that you are not there to get robbed. DO NOT RIDE A CAMEL!
Life, in general, is slow paced even when the weather is below 100f they are not in any rush, and honestly why should they be? The Egyptian people have a strong wit but getting to it can be a long journey. I do not want to generalize all Egyptians but I can say a few things. Egyptians are loud and mostly to one another perhaps due to the fact that for so long their voices would not be heard by anyone else, there must be a breaking point where you find that the louder your voice the more likely it is to be heard In a post upraising Egypt. This is just my theory after having discussed this at some length. There is a hopelessness that seems to be a shared collective outlook towards the future and is probably why they are not happy to be where they are. The hope of a better life came and went once they discovered the class they were born into. The hope in the children’s eyes clouded with the reality that mom is making you beg in the streets. When you are young you know what's going on or figure it out quickly. Class systems are fucked. My wife keeps telling me that I’m not giving Egypt a chance as I did with Vietnam but I often find myself trying too hard. The people if you set aside all possibilities of why are just plain rude. Imagine asking someone for something generic and being told no only because you were not specific enough “but you didn’t say that” fine be specific and speak to everyone as if they were an upset 5th grader, no problem. Vendors are vendors everywhere you go outside of malls in the states and haggling is not only expected but if you can imagine it is encouraged by street vendors. I have had them even haggle with themselves to the point where the item in question is simply thrown in the bag as a gift or did you just pay too much for something else? This is the part I do like and is often where you can command a smile or even a quick laugh with some witty banter though it is quickly replaced. Now on to the bad. Do not live here! I find that hard to say as I do not want to offend anyone or discourage travel here but the truth at least my truth is you can come to see it and leave without missing out on much. Big businesses such as electricity and the internet are, from what I can see designed to keep people where they are socially classed. You cannot use the internet for work as its price is prohibited and will end up being a source of some frustration so online teaching is out, meeting on Zoom need to be quick, and downloading or streaming here will be limited to even the savviest Pirate. Expat life here unlike in other countries is spread out in groups. I can’t imagine posting on Facebook that the wife and I were arriving in HMC or Hanoi without a dozen or more messages inviting us to meet here or there with this group or that person. This is truly one of those things you instantly miss when it’s gone. Here watering holes are few and far between with some even requiring yearly membership fees. Can you imagine having to pay to sit and listen to a bunch of fifty-plus British ex-pats discussing how they know the Earth is flat bullshit? Beers are priced at NY prices and I thought the booze in Asia was bad, I was wrong again. While alcohol is available and on the cheap for the local stuff, even delivered to your door… it is garbage. The good stuff will cost you city prices and I reserve it for special occasions like Tuesdays or nighttime. Cairo sadly is the dirtiest city I’ve been to period and I worked in Jersey City. There is no recycling and the pile of garbage on every corner is bigger than the last, in this respect, we were lucky to find a “flat” in Maadi which is a suburb of Cairo where you would find many Embassies and the famous road 9 which is Egypt’s St Marks Place minus the bars. Finding work here can also be extremely frustrating. When looking through adverts of jobs you’ve spent your life doing and with some success I might add, one is quickly schooled in the HR ways here. Must have thirty years’ experience eligible for people 45 or younger! You get it. Just another example of wanting to have it both ways. I’m writing this as I wait for essentially the cable guy to show up to install our internet however knowing what I know I will almost certainly have missed a step. If I had to guess right now, we were purposely not told that we had to schedule the appointment ourselves after being told by (remember the 5th grader) that they would call in seven days to inform us of their arrival. I call bullshit and the part that sucks the most is that If I say that in this way to my wife, she will likely start with you’re being negative stuff again, so here I sit and write. The one upside is that we were both lucky to get fully vaccinated here recently which to my surprise was not the shit show I initially thought it would be.
Sadly, at the end of the day, people make the places we visit. People are the reason we long to return to cities and countries that grab at you and excite you even if a little dangerous at times. The laughter shared among strangers whose humanity is so common elicits a chuckle together are the few times we feel less lonely traveling. This place is missing something of a soul if you believe in that kind of stuff. So come see and go.